The Top 10 Myths About Taking Control of Your Career (or the lies you tell yourself to do anything but initiate a change)

1. There's a lull just around the corner.

Once this big project is over, you'll be able to breathe, get organized, start work on a special project you've been putting off, finish an old project you started months ago, or heaven forbid, have time for personal priorities. For people in challenging jobs, there will never be a "good time" for anything. There will always be another project right behind the current one. You end up continuously putting off things that are important to you, such as spending quality time with family and friends, exercising or pursuing hobbies. A colleague once told me that he could see a light at the end of the tunnel, but he wasn't sure if it was really an oncoming train. More often than not, it's the oncoming train!

2. I keep my real life separate from my career.

The time you spend at work, whether 40 hours or 100 hours weekly, is a huge chunk of your life that can't be compartmentalized. Furthermore, if you are consistently putting out 110% effort and working overtime, how much time or energy do you have for your "real life" anyway? How you experience your life at work affects all the other components of your life, including your physical and emotional well-being and your relationships with family and friends.

3. I shouldn't think about the possibilities until I'm ready to initiate a change.

Why not? Don't be afraid to dream, to imagine scenarios, and to plan. How can you know when it's time for a change unless you consider your options and learn something about where you're going? How can you plan for contingencies? What if change initiated by others affects you? Ignoring the possibilities is a sure way to stay out of control of your career.

4. My boss is looking out for me.

When uncertainty is afoot, no matter how loyal you have been, your boss is worried primarily about her/himself. You are second, third, or last. This doesn't make your boss a bad person, just someone who knows how to take care of her/himself. Follow her/his example and put yourself first. This doesn't mean to distrust your boss; indeed, your boss may sincerely care about you and your future. Just don't count on your boss to take care of you as an excuse for not taking care of yourself.

5. I should wait to see what decisions others make first.

A common example of this approach is waiting to find out whether you'll be promoted/retained/laid off in the next corporate reorganization. What is so appealing about putting your fate in the hands of others? Similar to #3 and #4, it allows you to avoid taking responsibility. While you may decide to hold off on specific actions until you have all the facts, you can consider your career preferences, do some research, network, take a seminar, update your resume, contact a recruiter, request a grad school application, hire a coach, etc., without making any firm commitments. As you gather information, you will be better prepared to respond to the decisions others make that affect you (and may even decide to take action before those decisions are announced). Delaying any and all action until others move forward assures you of being caught unprepared and puts you at a disadvantage compared with those who did their homework.

6. If I do what I love, I'll be poor.

This is my favorite rationalization for not taking action to pursue careers we love. We have this romantic vision of the starving artist who suffers for his passion. I challenge the notion that following our passion leads to poverty. Imagine doing work you love AND living a life you love! Finding work you love is not something you do in a box, separate from your life. It's all part of your whole life vision. When you settle for unfulfilling work, you try in vain to keep it separate so it doesn't contaminate the rest of your life. You suffer when you make career choices that are inconsistent with your personal core values. When you find work you love, you will arrange the rest of your life to make it possible.

7. I am the only one who can do this job right.

No one else has the skills, expertise or attention to detail to complete this assignment. Perpetuating this image makes you indispensable to others, and you exert maximum effort to sustain it. You are a perfectionist who sets impossibly high standards for yourself and others. Your superiority complex alienates your peers and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they throw up their hands and say, "Fine, then you do it." Believing that your approach is the best or only way to accomplish something prevents you from delegating or working effectively with a team. Learning that a range of approaches can yield acceptable results will reduce the pressure you put on yourself and allow you to share responsibilities with others.

8. I need to prove how much I'm worth.

This is the corollary to #7. Everyone who has seen your work appreciates your accomplishments and knows how valuable you are. However, your sense of inferiority dictates that you exert 110% at every moment, lest your peers or superiors think you're floundering. You constantly strive to fulfill unreasonable expectations, to WOW everyone all the time. Like the perfectionism gone awry in #7, constantly having to prove your value without acknowledging past results is simply unsustainable and will lead to dissatisfaction and burnout.

9. I know where everything is on my desk.

Are you surrounded with piles of paper on your desk, inside the drawers and on the floor around you? Is the state of your desk an office joke? Maybe you were taught early in your career that it's good to look busy, so you let things pile up to maintain that aura. Or maybe you never make time for cleaning up the last project before launching the next one. However it started, you let things get out of control, and now you can't get ahead of the backlog. While you might know what's in those piles of paper, having a messy desk actually makes you look sloppy and unprofessional. Clutter is a physical manifestation of the chaos we may be experiencing in our lives.

10. I can multitask anything.

Do you speak on the phone, review and answer e-mail and read the newspaper at the same time? Does the person at the other end of the phone line have your undivided attention, or are you just grunting "uh-huh" every minute or so to make them think you're listening? Can you recall anything you've read in today's news while you're also on the phone? Multitasking is a fallacy created to perpetuate a frenetic, generally unsustainable pace. It may seem as if you're doing several tasks at once, but in reality, your brain is switching back and forth among those tasks very quickly to create the illusion of doing those tasks simultaneously. It's clear that the quality of your performance suffers when you overload your brain. While managing competing priorities is a valuable skill, selecting which tasks deserve your undivided effort is equally important. Taking the time to prioritize and focus on tasks separately will reduce errors and wasted effort and improve results.

This piece was originally submitted by Andrea S. Kantor, career and life coach for professionals, public speaker, workshop leader and writer, who can be reached at CoachAnnex@aol.com. Andrea S. Kantor wants you to know: I specialize in working with individuals and groups in transition, whether by choice or by circumstance, who are ready to take charge of their careers and lives so they can have more of what they really want. With 18 years experience as a financial services professional, I have a unique perspective of my clients' challenges and opportunities. I was trained in co-active coaching at the Coaches Training Institute, and I am a member of the International Coach Federation and other international and local coaching organizations.